


Truth be told

by NoaVice



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Referenced Public Sex, Sam is a Good Brother, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 00:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoaVice/pseuds/NoaVice
Summary: After an unexpected event at a class party, Dean go's home to understand what the fuck just happened. Sam helps.





	1. After the party

What the hell just happened? Did he really just have sex with a man for the first time in front of everyone?

Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He played it like it wasn’t a big deal, kept playing with the rest of them like nothing happened. To his relief, no one picked him for truth or dare after that. Even Castiel acted like he didn’t just fuck him in the ass, and turned to Michael to continue the game. Dean wasn’t sure how he felt about that either.

Sam was in the kitchen getting a glass of water when Dean came home. It was relatively early for Dean to return from a class party. Usually he stays until the early hours of the morning.

Dean was so absorbed in himself, he didn’t notice Sam was there until he heard him ask:

“Hey Dean, back so soon”?

“ _Yeah”._

“Is everything alright? You look pale. Are you not feeling well? Is that why you are back so early”?

_“Not really. I don’t know”._

Sam gave him a worried look.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Did he want to talk about it? On the one hand, all Dean wanted was to shove this night into the back of his mind, go to sleep, and hope that tomorrow he will feel less weird than he is feeling now. On the other hand, he really wanted to understand what he was feeling. Sam knew him better than anyone else and could probably help him with that. He knew Sam will not judge him, they know everything about each other. And besides, there is a great chance the whole school will talk about it on Monday, so he better hear it from the source.

_“Novak fucked me in front of everybody and I don’t know how I feel about that”._

Why beat around the bush if you can say it as it is, right?

“What on earth did Castiel do to you that was so bad? Did he get you in trouble or something? I always thought he was one of the good guys…” Sam looked at him with confusion.

_“No, you didn’t understand me. He literally fucked me in ass in front of everyone. His penis was inside my rectum on Victor’s parents' living room couch”._

“What?! Why?!” Sam almost dropped his water glass.

_“Victor dared him to get me off without touching my dick. Right there in front of everyone”._

“I apologize for sounding like a broken record, but – What?! Why?!”

_“We played sexual truth or dare. Novak picked dare. Victor dared him. And somehow I found myself getting off untouched on the couch while all my classmates were watching. That's why. So now I don’t know what to think about that and my ass hurts. I’m freaking out and I’m probably over sharing with you, but you are my brother and I trust you. And I need someone to help me figure this night out before I go mad”._

Dean was on the verge of crying when he stopped talking. They both sat down at the kitchen table, Dean holding a glass of water that Sam gave him.

Sam looked at his older brother with a serious face and thought. After some moments of silence, Sam took a big breath and started talking.

“I’m going to ask you a tough question and I need you to tell me the truth, OK”?

After Dean gave him a quick nod, he asked: “Did Castiel force himself on you”?

_“Are you asking me if I was raped?”_

Was he raped? Dean wasn’t sure.

He agreed to play. He wanted to play. You can’t say he wasn't a sexual person, far from it. He wasn’t a virgin. He had sex with a fair amount of females. Not with the majority of the cheerleaders like he let people think, but with some of them for sure. Usually he didn’t have a problem with new experiences; he would try anything at least once. He thought he would watch several of his classmates perform some minor sexual acts, hear and utter some confessions, maybe give or get a kiss or a blowjob. From that to being fully penetrated in public by a guy was a bit of a stretch, to say the least, no pun intended.

Novak asked him if he was ok before it all started, but it was more daring than caring. He did answer that he was fine, though. He let Novak kiss him and enjoyed it. Apparently Novak knows what to do with his mouth. Technically, he could have told him to stop anytime he wanted, that was part of the rules. But something about Novak’s touch was intoxicating. He wanted to know if he could really make him cum without touching his dick.

When Novak asked for the lube, Dean got a little nervous, but a part of him was curious to know how it felt when someone else touched his ass. He tried to touch himself there a couple of times and it was very pleasant. He didn’t shove his fingers, but it was more for the lack of courage to buy lube than the fear or disgust from the act itself. He read enough on the internet to know it’s supposed to feel good. His curiosity was what made him decide to go on with it.

It did feel good when he finally let himself relax. He tried to both be quiet and to not listen to the comments from people in the room, and it was not easy. He remembered begging for something, but he didn’t know what it was, not then and not now.

Dean didn’t understand why Novak took his fingers away until he heard the familiar sound of a condom packet being opened. The realization of what was going to happen hit him at the same time he heard Novak's question about wanting his cock. He was so on edge that he didn’t care anymore. Novak was asking permission, in a very degrading and humiliating way, and was waiting for him to answer.

Dean said yes. He gave his consent to this loud and clear. Now he was not sure if he said yes because he wanted to cum or because he didn’t want people to make fun of him on Monday. He knew he could push past the jokes about him being a cock slut or moaning like a whore by saying that he was man enough to take a dick. But to be called a coward? He couldn’t let that happen.

_“No. At least, I don’t think I was raped. I could have said no. Novak asked me several times during different parts of the act if I wanted this. I said yes every single time.”_

“I don’t know what to tell you. It sounds like some kind of gray area rape to me. We talked about it at school the other day. Theoretically you had a choice, but think about it – did you really? With everybody around you, could you really say no?”

_“The truth is I really could. Benny said no when Lucifer was dared to do something to him. They just switched him with Novak.”_

“So you feel nothing was done against your will. That’s a good start. But, you still feel bad about it, yes?”

Dean only nodded. He wasn’t sure he had the energy for this conversation, but he knew it was important. Besides, he started it.

“Is it because it was with a guy and you think it’s disgusting?”

_“What?? No!”_

“I don’t know, you only slept with females, it’s a legitimate question.”

_“Fair enough. No, I don’t think it’s disgusting because I slept with a man. The fact I’ve been only with females doesn’t mean I have a problem being with guys. It just didn’t happen until now. And basically I wouldn’t mind it was Novak, technically he is one of the good guys.”_

Sam arched one of his eyebrows after hearing that.

“Basically? Technically? What is that supposed to mean?”

Dean knew he could count on Sam to ask the right questions. Why did he use those words? He thought Novak was a handsome and attractive fella. He would be lying if he said he never fantasized about him while masturbating (or about Victor or Benny). Novak was a decent guy. He played fair, never bullied others and always came when he was called. So why was he so bothered by it?

_“I think what’s bothering me is the way Novak acted in that situation. There was something provoking in the manner he took the dare, something humiliating. I feel like he took pleasure in being my first, he even said so. I don’t know. I wish the settings were different. Not that I have a problem with meaningless sex, I had some of that.”_

Sam couldn’t stop the huff of laughter caused by that comment. Dean’s reputation as a heartbreaking conqueror was not for nothing. He immediately felt guilty for laughing at Dean when he was in a crisis, but one look at Dean reassured him that he also saw the humor in that sentence.

_“Sex can be just for fun. It can also be for other people's fun and pleasure. I won’t lie, seeing Lucifer rimming Novak was extremely hot.”_

“TMI Dean!”

It was Dean’s turn to arch an eyebrow.

_“Yeah, because hearing about your older brother being fucked in the ass is fine, but hearing about two other men doing something less penetrative than that is too much?”_

“You are my brother, Dean, and I care about you. If something is making you feel bad, I want to know about it, even if it means hearing intimate details about you. I don’t, on the other hand, want to know where one of your classmates' tongue had been. Do you see the difference?”

_“Good point. Anyways, I think what really bothered me in that situation was that it was full of humiliation. I don’t think that humiliation should be a part of sex, or any relationship for that matter. I never humiliated any of the girls I slept with. I was never the one who started any rumors about any of my sexual partners. Not only that, if I heard rumors that humiliated my partner, I was the one to put an end to them. Here I feel like everyone’s pleasure, including Novak’s, came at my expense. They enjoyed the “show”, as they called it, not because it was sexy, but because I was humiliated and degraded. I was the virgin ass that needed to be fucked. I was the one who couldn’t resist pleasure, even if it came from a man that fucked me for the first time, I even begged for it. Instead of Novak just enjoying a fuck, enjoying the connection with another person, I feel he was enjoying being the one who got to humiliate Dean Winchester.”_

Now Dean couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Sam got up from his chair and hugged Dean, who held tight to his younger brother, desperate for a touch that will make him feel human and not just like a piece of meat. Within the safety of Sam's embrace, Dean let himself really cry. He cried for the betrayal he felt from his friends and classmates. He cried for the fact he betrayed himself by letting this happen. He cried for his first time with a man that got stolen from him as someone else's dare. He cried for the ruined friendship that could have been between Castiel and him, now that he felt so much resentment towards him. He cried for the humiliation he was feeling. He cried for himself.


	2. The morning after

The sound of his cell phone text message notification woke Dean up from a sleep full of strange dreams. Last night’s events sill running through his mind and his eyes still red and puffy from crying. After he calmed down from crying last night, his thanked Sam for listening and crawled exhausted to bed.

Dean reached for his phone on the nightstand and swiped the screen on. It was 8:00 am, and he saw the notification **‘New message from: Novak’** . He contemplated whether he should open the massage or ignore it. That was just what he needed, for Novak to continue humiliating him today as well.

He tried to go back to sleep, but the knowledge of Novak sending him a text message that early in the morning kept him awake. After half an hour of tossing and turning Dean caved, took his phone and opened the massage.

 

8:00 am, Novak:

**I hope you are not too sore this morning. I wasn’t too gentle yesterday…**

 

Dean huffed a bitter laugh. He didn’t even remember the physical pain until now. He was feeling his ass, but it didn’t bother him. He enjoyed the sex, the dull pain of the short prepping included. It wasn’t what was bothering him. He didn’t know the intonation of this massage. Was it another way to humiliate him by fake concern, or was Novak really worried? After some though Dean decided he had nothing to lose and should simply ask.

 

8:37 am, Dean:

**Do you really care, or is it another way to laugh at me?**

 

8:38 am, Novak:

**Why would I laugh at you?**

 

8:40 am, Dean:

**Seemed as though you enjoyed it pretty much yesterday. Maybe even more than anything else. I really don’t have the power for more humiliations. Let it go.**

 

That should send Novak the massage that Dean wasn’t interested in his humiliations. After he sent the text he decided that it’s a good time to take a shower and eat something. Maybe after he’ll wake up completely he’ll go work on his car. Working on her always made him feel better and forget his problems for a while, and she did need an oil change.

After shower and breakfast Dean got back to his room to change into his work clothes and take his phone, planning on getting out and working on his car. When he looked at his phone though, he saw something he wasn’t expecting – three new messages and one missed call, all from Novak.

 

8:45 am, Novak:

**When did I humiliate you?**

 

8:50 am, Novak:

**I’m serious, when did I humiliate you?**

 

9:00 am – Missed call – Novak

 

9:02 am, Novak:

**I don’t understand what you are accusing me of. It’s not fair of you to accuse me of something and then ignore me, especially when it’s something I didn’t do. I asked you if you’re ok because I was worried. You left early and I thought maybe I injured you. But if this is how you want to play it than fine, Winchester, I’m letting go.**

 

After Dean picked his jaw of the floor, rage started building inside of him. How did Novak dare to make him the bad guy?

 

9:36 am, Dean:

**How am I the bad guy here? I wasn’t the one laughing because he was my first with a man or on the fact that I was begging in front of everybody, just so they could see what a man he was. I wasn’t the one to enjoy showing everyone that he was the one fucking Dean Winchester more than the fucking itself. And besides, a guy can take a shower and eat breakfast without taking his phone. You are aware that not everyone wakes up with the sun.**

 

9:43 am, Novak:

**WHAT??? How did you get to the conclusion that I enjoyed showing everyone that I was fucking you more than actually fucking you??? Or that I was laughing at you??? Did you hear of “dirty talk”? The comment about your virgin ass was to test your boundaries, and was an educated guess. And for your information, you said yes to everything I offered, and it looked like you enjoyed it! If something was bothering you, you could have said so.**

 

9:51 am, Dean:

**That was dirty talk? I’m not jealous of your usual partner. Since when humiliating someone considered sexy? There are better ways to test the others’ boundaries, like NOT reminding them that that’s the first time they are doing something. Especially in front of a room full of people that don’t need to know about my previous sexual experiences, or the lack of it. I never tell other people what were my partner’s sexual experiences before they were with me, it’s not respectful for either my partner or me.**

 

9:53 am, Dean:

**Do you really think I could’ve told you something about that? When exactly? In front of everybody when I’m torned between my need for you to fuck me already and the feeling that if I’ll tell you the way you talked to me hurts me you would just keep on doing it in spite? Or maybe later, to give you and the rest of the class the satisfaction of knowing you actually succeeded to humiliate me? I rather get fucked by a cactus than give people reasons to further laugh at me.**

 

9:55 am, Dean:

**And I did enjoy the sex, just not the way you treated me.**

 

Dean read and reread the texts he sent. Yes, all he wrote was accurate.

 

10:02 am, Novak:

**I thought saying that it was your first time with a man will set you at ease, because that way no one will think you are not straight. That way if someone will laugh at you about ‘how now you’ll become gay and start sleeping with men’ you could say that ‘like Novak said, it was my first, and now last, time’. I really didn’t mean to laugh at you or humiliate you. I did enjoy being the one to make you moan uncontrollably, but not because I thought I was humiliating you, but because I enjoy pleasuring my partners. Maybe I did get carried away with the whole situation, but nothing came from a bad place. I apologize that I made you feel this way, it was never my intention.**

 

10:05 am, Novak:

**I’m glad you enjoyed the sex. I enjoyed it too.**

 

At this moment Dean totally forgot he planned on changing his clothes and working on his car. He was sitting on his bed trying to understand what he was feeling now, knowing Castiel wasn’t trying to humiliate him. He appreciated the fact that he apologized for how he made him feel, but there was something he didn’t understand in Castiel’s replay.

 

10:10 am, Dean:

**It makes me feel better knowing you didn’t mean to humiliate me. I couldn’t understand why you wanted to do that, I always thought you were one of the good guys. Thank you for apologizing, I accept your apology. But I don’t understand why the fact that people will think I’m not straight was supposed to make me nervous? I never said I was straight. I even went on a few dates with Benny last summer. I thought everybody knew about that.**

 

10:14 am, Novak:

**You really dated him? I was sure it was a malicious** **rumor spread by Lucifer or Alistair after you got chosen to be the team’s quarterback and not one of them.**

 

10:16 am, Dean:

**You give them too much credit for their creativity of spreading malicious** **rumors. The most malicious** **rumor either of them spread was that someone cheated on a test. They don’t have the depth of mind to think of anything more sophisticated than that.**

 

Dean really thought all his class knew he was bisexual. He never hid or denied it. He would have loved to still be dating Benny, but Benny’s ex-girlfriend asked him if they could get back together, and Dean couldn’t let Benny miss this opportunity. He knew how much Benny loved Andrea and how much he suffered after their breakup.

 

10:22 am, Novak:

**Wow, so I really royally fucked up this situation. I’m so sorry.**

 

10:23 am, Dean:

**I don’t know, the sex was great, and now that I know you didn’t mean to humiliate me I no longer angry with you.**

 

10:25 am, Novak:

**You don’t understand. I was under the assumption you were straight. I know exactly where to push and what to do to make a person cum, regardless of whether they are attracted to me or not. If I had known you were also attracted to men I would have made it less technical. I would have prepped you better so that I would know you won’t ache the day after. I knew I rushed the prep, that why I wanted to know if you are ok, and if not then to offer you ways to ease the pain. If I had known I might have a chance for something more I would have made sure you would have a reason to want more. I am such an idiot.**

 

Dean was not expecting that, and he didn’t know how to react or what to do with that information. Up until five minutes ago he was angry with Castiel and the humiliating way he treated him. Up until 20 minutes ago he was sure Castiel had something against him, or that he got the wrong impression about him and that Castiel was actually a shitty person.

 

10:27 am, Dean:

**OK, wow, a lot of new information to digest. You are definitely not an idiot. I don’t think we ever really talked that much, so it’s only logical that we both have missing information about each other.**

 

10:30 am, Novak:

**You’re right.**

 

10:30 am, Novak:

**I would like to change that if you’d like.**

 

10:31 am, Novak:

**Talk more. Complete missing information. Maybe someday you’ll even let me give you a better experience than last night.**

 

This texts sequence made Dean smile for the first time since what happened last night with Castiel.

 

10:32 am, Dean:

**Talk more and complete missing information sound nice. I’m not saying no to the better experience, but let’s take things slow for now, ok? I’m still processing all that happened last night. But I would definitely like to know you better. How about we’ll talk again tonight, after I’ll have a little time to think about everything?**

 

10:34 am, Novak:

**I’d be happy to do that. So we’ll talk tonight then. And again, I’m really sorry about making you feel humiliated.**

 

10:35 am, Dean:

**That’s alright, I’ve already forgiven you. Bye Castiel.**

 

10:35 am, Novak:

**Bye Dean.**

 

Dean felt much better after this conversation with Castiel. Still confused, he now had a lot more to think about. He changed to his work clothes, and went to check if Sam was awake so he could update him about everything that just happened before going to work on his car.

…

 

8:34 pm, Castiel Novak:

**Hello, Dean.**


End file.
